Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
