And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
