I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
