With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
