I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
