We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
