What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
