1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
