I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
