the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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