I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
