The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
