He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize