I just pynch a tree in the face
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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