Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
as a side note pls kill me
Panties = found
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
