this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
