I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
3 2 1 whiskey
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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