I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
