Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
