You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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