I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
