smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
