glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
