At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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