dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
