home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
