his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize