The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
