Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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