Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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