I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
