You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
