Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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