his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
