And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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