also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
