Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
