That's when you crack a 10am beer
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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