Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
