I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm at about main and main street
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
