i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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