Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
