this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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