Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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