i think my tv is drunk
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
