I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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