I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
