Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
COCAINE IS GR8
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
