is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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