Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
