if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
