glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
