I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
