She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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