It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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