Say something about gay babies.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
