i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
