Welp...herpes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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