Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
