carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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