I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
