Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
