I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
